Does coaching give you false hopes?
Question:
How can coaching be of help to those in job-search programmes where the
problem really isn’t a lack of self-esteem among the unemployed, but simply
a lack of available work? You can coach people to death and teach them to
write really smart-looking applications – which end up in the wastepaper
basket, unread. Aren’t you giving just a little bit of a false hope if you
coach someone to have such high hopes which then get crushed by reality?
– Pia, age 40, Stockholm
Carina answers:
If you looked for lots of jobs and got lots of rejections, it is easy to
lose heart which in itself gives you a less attractive image. Compare that
to going to the pub in a desperate search for a mate. It seldom works. In
such a situation, it is not enough to put on a false optimism and believe
in oneself. A coach can help you look at your situation from a new perspective
so you can get back a realistic expectation that it is going to work this
time. The coach’s job is not to “coach you toward high hopes”, but rather
to help you look at your situation realistically. Yet, very often the realistic
picture is better than you think. The coach will help you to see new possibilities
and options that you perhaps didn’t know you had. In the worse case, perhaps
you take a temporary job just so you can get the experience you need on
the way to your dream job. If you have a vision, a goal that really appeals
to you, then any job along the way can be stimulating. It’s not what you
have, but what you do with what you’ve got that is most important