Inside the mind of a coach
Interview with Swedish life coach, Nina Jansdotter. Part 1.
Nina, what is the first thing you tell a new client when you meet, and why?
“Right from the start I want to show that it is you who decides just what your coaching is going to be about. I ask quite frankly, ‘What can I help you with?’ and then we take it from there. Some coaches always let their clients do a test the first time. This works too, only personally I feel that it is important to show right away that it is I who will adapt to the coaching, not the client.
“The most important thing is to lay all your values, experiences and opinions out on the table. This is your agenda and it will apply to the entire coaching.
“I also want you to get the feeling that the time you spend with me is just yours. Among friends, the ball bounces back and forth with questions like, ‘…and how are you?’ and what not. However, it is a natural component of coaching that one just carries on about oneself. Somebody called me a slob. For some clients it is enough to put words to different things in order to get their thoughts clear.”
At such an early stage in this coaching, is there something you know about me which I have no idea about?
“Nothing more than that coaching will often go into issues other than my clients might first suspect. Usually, subconscious fears or values will arise.
“For instance, if you were to come to me because of a difficult situation at work, we perhaps would talk about it generally at first, and then I would ask, ‘Alright, but what is this really all about?’. Then it may become apparent that your unclear communication with your work-mates is a result of your fundamental low self-esteem, and then your coaching can focus more upon that. A lot of my work deals with my clients’ self-esteem. If we can raise that, we can solve much more at the same time, sometimes completely unexpected things.
“When I had undergone group coaching in the art of daring to hold a speech in front of an audience, I remember how one of my clients said to me on the final occasion ‘Nina, now I have the nerve to drive a car again’. I was utterly shocked. Apparently, this person happened to have suffered an unpleasant experience in traffic earlier in life. She was so scared that she promised herself never to sit behind the wheel of a car again. That fear had been keeping her prisoner, but once she overcame her fear of public speaking, she got the nerve to face her fear of driving as well.”
Say that you manage to coach away some inhibition or fear in me as well – how would that feel?
“I would be incredibly happy, I get that way each time a profound internal change takes place in people. Lately, I received an e-mail from a woman who read my book ‘Seven Steps to a More Satisfying Career’ (www.livskarriar.se). The book goes deep into how you can take the reigns and blaze a trail to a happier future in your working life instead of aimlessly jumping from one job to another. Overjoyed, the woman wrote, ‘I just lately turned down a job-offer. I have never been able to do that before.’
“Something happened to her. She learned to listen inward, as opposed to outward – this is one of the most important keys to feeling better.”