Inside the mind of a coach
Interview with Swedish life coach, Nina Jansdotter. Part 4.
What other kind of mistakes are easy to make as a coach?
“Coaching can be too goal-oriented. Many clients show up to a coaching session short of breath and aspiring to make so much happen in such a short period of time. Even if I feel tempted to be drawn into the enthusiasm, it is reflection that such people need - not new tasks.”
How do you see your role as coach? What really is your task?
“My job really is to phase myself out. At the beginning, it’s all about encouragement and support, but once you as a client have applied the coaching relationship for a while, you can make it without my help. You have learned how to see your possibilities and make constructive choices instead of being a victim of circumstance.
“You learn to weed-out those things you can’t do anything about and to take control of those things that you actually can affect. Hopefully, you will also take with you a bunch of good things about yourself which I have noticed. Perhaps I said, ‘It shows that you are good at making decisions’ or ‘I see that you have a positive outlook’.
“During coaching, I help you to set up an action plan, and then next time, we follow up on that to take a look at what went well, and as well we investigate whether you can do more of what feels right. You increase your sense of awareness in your life, at the same time you learn the fundaments of coaching.”
Do you coach in your private life as well?
“Yes sometimes I do, but that can easily go wrong. If a girlfriend turns to me and is sad, maybe she just wants a shoulder to cry on and receive sympathy instead of talking with someone who poses solution-oriented questions.
“However, I would never be able to coach my husband. It would be impossible to remain neutral. What do I do, if my coaching went in direction that ran contrary to what I myself would want? No, that would never work.”
What do you think is the hard part about being a coach?
“I give a lot of myself and I get very close to people. To the point that I become emotionally involved, I live very much in the situations of other people and I become deeply affected. Often, people come to me to share their problems.
“That’s why I am sure to make time for myself. I also create outlets so I can recharge with my own energy: massage, zone therapy, yoga… and daily meditation. And I go for long walks. ”