People who tried coaching: Ann-Kristin
Ann-Kristin Agesund is 41 years old and lives in Kungsbacka, Sweden. She turned to coaching to get back her vitality and get back on the right track in her career.
Ann-Kristin became burned-out at her job as an art expert and she had to close down her own business as a consultant in the culture industry. While she recovered, she pondered a lot about her professional life. The future seemed like “a vast, dark void”, as she put it.
“I didn’t know what to do. Meetings at the government employment agency and at the unemployment insurance office got me nowhere. I felt as though they didn’t give me the support I needed. I was unmotivated and I felt like I was grasping at straws.”
She read a few tracts about coaches on the Internet, and out of curiosity she began a Google-search for more information.
“I thought it looked serious, and I got to try out coaching free-of-charge the first time.
What happened during the trial coaching session?
“The coach asked questions. And I answered. Soon I noticed how my thoughts were liberated. Instead of dwelling on the same things as before, my mind started to take off in new directions. Afterward, I almost felt euphoric – and that is when alarm-bells began to ring.”
Alarm-bells?
“Yes, I am cautious not to let myself get drawn into my emotions when something feels too good. I immediately began to question just what coaching is all about. Is it a particular “discipline” within ones personal development and what are the values it espouses? How do I know that this discipline is in fact good for me? This sort of thing. You know… if a discipline becomes too religious, the individual fades away.”
So what have you found out?
“That professional coaching brings the individual out into the forefront. The government employment agency should adopt this method. I like to compare this method to baking a pie. You begin with the crust and then add the cream and then the trimmings. What we tend to do, is to start with the trimmings before we even have the pie. This sends out the message, ‘Deal later with what you really want deep-down, right now you need a job.’ Coaching sent me the message that the pie-crust must be there with the question, ‘How are you going to support yourself while you begin to realise what you really want?’ more or less. There is a big difference by comparison.”
What did that difference mean for you?
“Before, it was all about finding the One Right Job, and since I wanted to become a writer it became rather complicated. Now I know that I can choose that path in spite of everything else – if in the meantime before I am published I choose a job that supports me economically, a job that nurtures creativity and one that does not detract my energy away from writing.”
Alright, let’s take a look at just how coaching worked. You talked over the telephone or had regular meetings for a few months. Just what exactly did you get to do?
“Contrary to what happens in school or work situations, I quickly learned that coaching is a process designed entirely for my own sake, and I never had to feel any pressure to succeed. At the start, I was given a long page full of questions about what I wanted from my colleagues, my working environment and my life. We never did go through that list. I got my insights all on my own and my coach didn’t necessarily need to know that.”
So what happened?
“Through his questions and slight provocations, my coach challenged the way in which I saw things. Often I would catch myself getting tangled into contradictory reasoning and strange ideas. For example, at one point I said that I needed a job that looked good on my resume. Then the coach asked, “And to whom are you going to show your resume?” I had been under the impression that I had to build-up a good-looking resume without knowing just where I was headed. I often laughed in embarrassment at the silliness that had come out of my mouth.”
Can ones friends serve the same purpose as a coach?
“Friends are most often biased by their own values and opinions. I can
give you one example: I am a design-historian and I give lectures in that
topic. Many listeners have told me, ‘You should be a teacher.’ Despite the
fact that to discuss ones own field of expertise and to teach in middle-school
are two totally different things. It is easy to be influenced when other
people are ‘just trying to help’. A coach doesn’t apply his own notions,
he gives no advice. Instead you get questions that help you to draw your
own conclusions based on your own experiences and opinions.”